ah its been a little less then a month since i've written in this, guess it's slipped my mind and it didn't help that i had no idea what my password was - so i eventually gave up. its funny, looking back on all the previous blogs i wrote, i never knew i had it in me to write so much about one person. i guess its cus i never believed i'd feel and experience so much with another soul. anyways, i'd love to say i had so much more insight on the past 10 months or do but i really don't, alot has happened, i've lost alot of loved ones, but gained stronger bonds with others too so i can't really complain, but over all, after all the headaches, tears etc.. etc.. i think i've figured myself out a bit more, and i love it.. for the most part =P i'm still flying solo but i think after everything with him i don't think i'm ready, and after a recent conversation it's almost impossible for me to really accept that being with one person for the rest of my life is something for me. i don't think i could possibly love someone so much forever... but for the love i do have for some, its real and will last as long as its suppose to. as for you, i love you but as a friend if even, you're still a pain in the ass, but thats life. you're always gonna have that certain pain you'll never really get rid of for good haha. as for the rest of the year, good stuff has happened, i had a bit of a crush for awhile, until i realized two people almost living identical lives really couldn't... shouldn't be together, too much - excess baggage if you know what i mean lol. all good he's still my homie and that, thats enough for me! i'm gonna try and write more again, its almost the new year, so exciting stuff is bound to happen! including the heatbreak and the completion of my life - going to LA in about 65 days, and FINALLY watching a Lakers game, can you believe it? KOBE and ME in the same room.. wow. <3

one last thing.. 2 nites ago was probably the first i'veever cried so much i couldn 't see, but i guess it was worth it, i got my friend back - but like i said, pleeeeeeeeeeease don't make me regret this one.. or else!! i'll punch you in the face! ha

its 12:56am got work tomorrow and my back is getting sore from this, so i'm out.

goodnight.

p.s the song of the moment, an oldie but goodie - SATISFY YOU...

you fear it.. but you love it when you near it.. haha something like that?