BELATED MERRY CHRSISTMAS.. wow can't believe its only a few more days until the new year, i'm so excited yet in a way a bit apprehensive. i guess cus i'm going back to school, gonna be meeting new people, having to control my sleeping AND spending habits, being a college student is tough both ways lol! and i guess knowing i haven't spoken to you in awhile.. going into the year with not the slightest aknowledgement from you scares me.. could this be the year? with you not a part of my life.. thinking about it gives me goosebumps, but at the same time i have a little sigh of relief. uncle gave me a Flash Stick to save all my pictures and documents onto it, and i came across 4 pictures you sent me over txt msging, it was part of the 7 pages you wrote to me probably a month from now, a year ago when i believed that it was all over! i hated you! a part of me still believes you regret staying for as long yet i don't cus you had no reason to stay, i know you hated what i did, yet still accepted my flaws, the drama killed us then made us stronger, yea there was lies.. probably more then we'd both admit too, but for the most part it was real. aint no denying that. i guess reading that with a "clearer" head gives me a not so better but different look on things, and i feel bad yet i'm not sorry. everything i did, for the good and the bad, even the lies made us, us. and in the end i would never replace it for anything. i love you.

"but as long as you happy i'ma tell you this,
i love you and you the one that i will always miss .."


PS. mommy gave me a new diamon ring =)