its reached the end of 2005; and already a bit into the new year -- i've fixed problems with certain people and i guess things are back to normal but theres more that i have yet to work out. i'm already not likeing 2006. i wish someone would just gimme the strength to do this. i've finally let go of my past and accepted that things jus weren't meant to be the way i had hoped, i've accepted alot of these 'changes' but now i've gotta face my reality and take control of my own life, then maybe i can finally share that feeling with him. i jus wish i knew he'd be there by my side through it all.. i can't understand why its still so hard, even when something so good is staring me straight in the eye - i can't seem to inch myself closer to it...